Trigger Warning: Opinions and Meta.

Before you kill me for it, Equestria Girls was not a bad film. I was just incredibly disappointed because it wasn’t that much of a good film, either. I do thoroughly despise EqG, however, due to the sheer mediocrity of the plot development and character design, and the lackluster execution.

I’m willing to go into super duper detail about Movie Theory and the like, but really, no one wants to hear any of that and it’ll seem really fucking pretentious to do so over the internet, especially because I’ve only been dealing with peeps that really loved the film unconditionally.

I might be willing to write a review in the future, but I have been outcasted for going into my thoughts about the film at Everfree Northwest (“Well, you just didn’t get to see the film with friends and that changed your opinion on it.”). It’s a little too soon at this point, but maybe in the future. Who am I to ruin the fun of the party?

It’s totally awesome to love the film, and don’t let this cynical bastard change anything about it, but if you do care to hear a little bit about elements of movie theory and the subtle differences between world building from Ms. Faust and Ms. McCarthy, really, write to me on Skype. I always wanted to talk about this, but not many have been willing to lend an ear to the dissenting opinion.

Let me end it with one of my favourite comments I’ve seen about the film (though I don’t necessarily agree with the hyperbole). Unfortunately unsourced but I swear it exists somewhere in that grand abyss that is tumblr:

“I don’t see why anyone is hating on Equestria Girls, the film is like 100% fanservice, what isn’t there to like?”

5/10.

I do cringe every time I hear people singing The Cafeteria Song, though. Now you know how to bug me, if you really want to.