Well, I can’t elicit genocide if that’s what you’re asking.

Long time ago, long story short (because I don’t like getting into details) a friend came to me for help, and he ultimately killed himself. 

I’ve had therapists keep on telling me that “it wasn’t my fault” and “there was nothing I could do to stop *his* actions” but there’s still a lingering doubt that if I ended going a different route, or if I just said the right sequence of words, I could have prevented it.

I’m hell-bent on proving that I can actually lead to a beneficial change when a friend asks for help, but I’m scared shitless that I just might say the exact wrong thing again and get another person killed.

Either one would have me pretty defined, but I’m waving around the middle area.