Ok internet, this is important

If you’ve played Pokemon, you probably know all about Shorts Boy. There’s always one, in every single game, who will make a very confident statement about shorts. The most common way to phrase it is “Do you know why I always wear shorts?” before the battle, and “Because they’re comfy and easy to wear!” after you win. Why is Shorts Boy in every game? I dunno, but he’s a mainstay all the same.

So anyway, I was playing Black 2 the other day, and I came across this little town on the beach. This is Black 2, mind you, the only real sequel a Pokemon game has ever had. There was a shorts boy in Black/White, but I hadn’t found him in 2.

Then, out of nowhere, she appeared. A normal-looking Lass, just standing on a pier, and the only line she says is “This dress is comfy and easy to wear…”

Now, it is a fact that only Shorts Boys have ever commented on the comfiness and ease-to-wear of their clothing; it’s their defining character trait.

But what if, at some point, a shorts boy put on a dress? Maybe it was a dare, or a prank, or maybe just his own curiosity, but it happened nonetheless. A Shorts Boy put on a dress, and his entire worldview got turned upside-down.

He’d found an article of clothing even more comfy and easier to wear shorts! What’s a young Shorts Boy to do?

This question occupies his mind so heavily that when people pass him on the street, he can only manage to say, “This dress is comfy and easy to wear…” and those three dots contain all the weight and melancholy of his entire existential quandry. He had defined himself by his shorts for so long, that now he’s questioning the fundamental foundations of his very identity.

What will be this Shorts Boy’s fate from here on? Will he stop wearing dresses, and pretend this experiment never happened? Or will this experience lead him to totally reinvent himself?

I for one believe that we will soon see the day when we may call this individual… “Dress Girl.”